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In the Dothraki Sea, handmaid I was seen feeling up the Khaleesi, looks like D has got an incredibly frightening world destroying bun in the oven!
And A was seen with her new dancing master in the Red Keep. Be careful A, it’s all fun and games until somebody loses their wolf.
An unfortunate bout of redpox as well as a run in with the most frightening Volantene fool I’ve ever seen have kept me silent these past few weeks, but have no fear, your favorite snarky bitch is back.
You know you love me,
XOXO,
Gossip Westeros
Spotted: N and LF down by the whoreyard. No, N’s not making more lonely boys, he’s just meeting C. It seems like N&C are getting down tonight…with suspicion.
Lady C getting apprehended by two gold cloaks. Welcome to king’s landing C, where the streets are paved with little birds, and you never know who they’ll sing to. Do re mi fa sol LF?
Lonely Boy getting to know his new beau, all 700 feet and 300 miles of her. Brr, it’s cold out there, but it’s not just the wall giving off that ice. No, I think Lonely Boy’s new brothers are jealous. Better play nice, Lonely Boy, you can choose your friends but can’t choose your brothers and the brothers of the night’s guard serve for life.
Hi ho hi ho, it’s off to small council you go, N. No sign of Grumpy or Oldie, but I see Sneaky, Stealthy, Flashy, and Flunky are there waiting for you.
Sleeping Little B has awoken in Winterfell with amnesia and a new friend H. What’s that H? Well H, H, H, H to you, too.
And the Khaleesi has reprimanded her handsy brother. She does not have a gentle heart, Beggar King, so you better hope that she doesn’t cut out yours.
When the adults are away the cubs will play, but I don’t think lions and wolves are compatible, and Prince J has the teeny tiny scars to prove it. You should have known better than to take away Prince J’s toy, A, you know cats don’t like to let go of their playthings. And now poor S lost her wolf.
But you better watch out Queen C, because the North remembers.
You know you love me,
XOXO,
Gossip Westeros
I spy with my little eye: Lady C, covered in blood. No, it’s not prom night in Winterfell, she just survived an assassination attempt. So tell me C, that taste in the back of your mouth, is that blood or revenge?
This morning started with a bang, or was that just the sound of Prince J getting slapped? Judging by the mark on J’s cheek, I guess the Imp isn’t small everywhere.
And tears were shed all around as Lonely Boy left for the cold embrace of the Wall. But none cried harder than our favorite RS. But don’t worry RS, you won’t be lonely any time soon. I hear krakens hold on tight.
The Khaleesi getting some intimate lessons from her favorite indentured friend. I guess they don’t call them handmaidens for nothing.
N promising to tell Lonely Boy who kept him from being lonely during Robert’s Rebellion during their very stoic and manly goodbye. Aww, N, secrets secrets are no fun, especially if you never get to tell them.
Three little wolves went south to King’s Landing, I wonder how many will come back again? Watch out Starks, you’re on your way to the Lion’s den now, and these kitties have claws.
We hear that somebody caught our favorite golden fools doing some risque extra-curricular activities in Winterfell. Too bad Little B can’t tell us what he saw himself, I heard he took a nasty spill. Remember Little B, pride goeth before a fall, and no one has more pride than a Lannister.
You know you love me
XOXO,
Gossip Westeros
Khaleesi-to-BeD, taking one hot bath before her wedding to Khal D. Man, I wonder if that’s foreshadowing anything?
A topless RS and TG in the stables. Waiting for someone, boys?
Lonely Boy on his way to A’s rooms with a poorly concealed package. Hey Lonely Boy is that a sword in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
Hey, it wouldn’t be the first time siblings got to know each other better in Winterfell.
The things I do for love,
XOXO,
Gossip Westeros
